Guide For Parenting

In the first two months after getting into college, your child is going to be quite busy with everything that’s new and all that requires getting used to. Call them to find out how they are handling it all, but don’t remind them about homesickness by asking about it or questioning them if they feel lonely. This can possibly make the adjustment more difficult.

Your child may have difficulties such as a difficult paper or some problem in their relationships when you call. Lend them a sympathetic ear, but do not get too worked up over it. They will learn to handle such situation with time and be better organized in their own way.

Encourage them to participate in sport and extra-curricular activities. It is a good way for them to make friends and get to know others while away from home.

Set a time with them to visit to their college, but do not visit them too often. When you visit them at the right time, you can see their progress with pride and they can introduce you to the important people in their campus. Sometimes this can be hard to do and you may just want to burst in there and see them like you did in school, but this really does not help your child in the long run.

Managing money is something your freshman needs to know and you need to inform them how to do this efficiently. Make them feel responsible for what they spend and do not lend them money every time they ask for it. Asking them to conform to a budget so that expenses are controlled within the allowance they have to spend is quite acceptable.

One issue that most parents face with their children is the generation gap. Your teen’s views are very different from yours and you feel confused on how to handle it. The only solution to this is an open line of communication. Ask your teen his or her opinion on all topics that you discuss with them. Candidness can help to bring out what is on their mind and find out how they feel.

Issues like having friends over or bad habits need to be in check at all times to ensure proper behavior and personality development. If you find your teen to be missing what you expect them to do, do not scold or nag. Instead have a firm talk on how to go about doing this better next time.

If your teen wants to have a party at home, discuss all of the rules with them such as what kind of drinks they can have, or having too loud of music. Very often conflicts arise here because the teen is interested in having fun, while the parent wants an environment that is safe. Firmly point out problem areas and offer alternatives such as fun activities for the party and serving non-alcoholic drinks that can be fun as well.

Parents, with teens who have succumbed to serious problems such as drugs or alcohol abuse, need to seek professional help on this. Do not ignore the problem thinking the child will outgrow it. These issues require serious attention.

If you find your teen failing in school, try to get to the root of the problem instead of getting angry with your child, even if the problem is simply laziness or boredom. Lack of motivation is not just a bad behavior it is a sign that something is missing in the child life and this needs to be addressed.

There may be some trying times, like when you feel like you could lose your temper. When parenting teenagers it is always better to control yourself during these times and talk about the issue in a calm way later. Your teen will learn to deal with their emotions when they see you handle the situation in this way.

Parenting a teenager can be trying at times, particularly with your teen trying out so many new things and opening up to the world. There is a lot of room for mistakes, but if you take care to smoothen the rough edges in this part of your child’s life, your child will develop skills for dealing with life’s issues later.

Here is a look at some useful parenting tips on what these might be:

Spend quality time with your child. This can be in the form of an all day outing or just time spent shopping or talking about things in general. The idea behind doing all this is to increase the bonding between parent and child. This time spent with your child can also be taken as an opportunity for discussing important issues.

Logically address discipline issues with your child. This creates a sense of how the world around them will react, when they grow up. For example, if your child does not return a book back to the library, return it yourself and make a deduction on this from their allowance.

Temper tantrums can happen and when you find your child indulging in ones, don’t lose your temper or your heart. Leave the room and let the child know that he or she can come back to you later, when cooled down.

A very useful parenting tip is to give importance to the child whenever required. Appreciate them when they suggest or do something that is good.

Teach them responsibility not by way of nagging but with a casual approach. For example, ask your child to come shopping with you, or help dry the dishes or stack away books on the shelf. When dong this don’t make it seem like a chore, but something that makes them feel valuable because you needed their help.

Teach your child to respect you by being firm when you have to be. Children will always reach out to the soft corner with cries and pleas about wanting something that they should not be asking, such as too much candy or toys. Be firm when a decision has been made to cut down on such things, and at the same time reward them on special occasions with what they like, so that they will realize the value of what they have and at the same time they don’t over-indulge.

If your child has done something wrong, make them understand through your words about their irresponsible behavior. Do not shout, beat or tell them that you don’t love them because this will reduce their self-esteem and the problem will reflect elsewhere in their life.

Your child is learning by observing your every move. So turn yourself into your child’s role model by doing the things that you would expect your child to do in the various situations will be faced with. This can be something small like neatly arranging your wardrobe, controlling your anger, or a calm way of answering to someone who is angry. These actions set an example for your child to follow.

Tell your child the reason why they need to do what you expect them to do and don’t expect them to do what you say, just because you say so. This helps them to develop their thinking faculties and apply it in very aspect of their life rather than just accept what is told to them.

Parenting becomes all the more easier, when you compliment your child because they have behaved well and responsibly

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Every year parents are faced with the back to school anxieties that come upon us as the August heat reminds us that it is almost that time of year again. Parents not only have to prepare themselves for another year of car-pooling, PTA meetings, weekly snacks, quirky schedules, and parent-teacher conferences, they must also prepare their children for the new school year and have any before and after school childcare worked out before the new year starts.

If you work during the day, have a responsible adult lined up to accompany your younger children to and from school everyday. This will avoid any last minute rush to come up with someone who you trust with your children. If possible, have the person you choose and your children run the routine that will be expected of them when school starts so that they can get an estimation of how long it will take them for transportation and remind them to add a few extra minutes to deal with the morning or afternoon traffic. Make sure your child feels comfortable with the person you have chosen for this responsibility, and that they are aware the chosen person will be staying with them until you return home from work. Children at this age need supervision for any amount of time that you won’t be in the house. Only children who are close to thirteen years of age should be a candidate for staying after school by themselves.

If for some reason throughout the school year, your child is left at home without an adult, make sure you have a schedule set up for them to adhere to. Set a certain time for them to call you, or their other parent, to let someone know they have arrived. Use this time to remind them about their homework and any other duties expected of them before you return from work. The busier you keep them, the less likely the chances of them getting into any trouble if they need to be left alone.

• They have a hard time paying attention
• They are overly impulsive
• They are easily frustrated
• They have the ability to change moods rapidly

Some people consider children with ADHD as children who just don’t want to behave or they just have poor social skills, but this is not the case. With the rapidly growing diagnostic rate for ADHD, many wonder if doctors are just diagnosing children with this when really it is a direct result of poor parenting skills showing through in the child. Others have been known to think that it is just a normal part of the child’s personality and should not be considered a disorder of any kind.

Some children may have another problem that is causing them to have similar symptoms as ADHD so these will need to be eliminated before a conclusion can be made about the disorder. A traumatic event could be the cause of the behavior disorder, or it could be that your child is dyslexic. A diagnoses from a psychologist is needed to rule out any other possible causes. They will also be able to let you know a course of action to meet your child’s needs depending on what they are.

Parents of a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD will do better if they keep a timely routine daily. If a child with ADHD knows the schedule it is less likely that you will get a fight out of then when it is time for a certain thing on the schedule.

If you are a parent of a child with ADHD, you most likely feel the pain associated with the social aspect of your child. He may be rejected by his peers and adults, making his self esteem soar to low levels. Just remember that your child’s behavior is not your fault and there are support groups willing to help you. A good place to start your search for support is at www.adders.org . They have lots of information about the ADHD disorder and places where you can find support.