Common Myths Concerning Step Families
When one or both formerly married (to others) people, decide to join their lives together, a new family unit is created. This new family unit comes with its own special sets of challenges. Whether the children live with you and your new spouse, or they visit on weekends, clearing up some misconceptions about step parenting and stepfamily life can ease you and your new family’s transition into these uncharted waters.
Don’t expect the children to love their new stepparent immediately. It may take some time and effort on the grown-up’s part to win the children’s love and trust. A stepparent may find themselves feeling frustrated and ready to give up, as some children refuse to have anything to do with the new addition to the family. Even if your relationship with the children was amiable when you were dating, they are bound to feel different now, that you have taken the next step in your relationship.
Though children who have been through a divorce are hurt, they will not be permanently damaged by the break up, if their parents have handled things in a congenial manner. You may be inclined to make excuses for the children or allow behavior you wouldn’t otherwise put up with because of guilt feelings.
Children can sense weakness in adults. Don’t let them manipulate you or your new spouse into thinking the presence of the new parent will traumatize them for life.
In these modern times the definition of what constitutes a family has expanded greatly. There is no “right” kind of family anymore. A typical family today might be described as a mom or dad raising children alone, as well as one or both of them remarrying and having new children. All this can be confusing to little ones. As a parent of a blended family, you should be available to talk openly with your kids and allow them to air their feelings. Let them know that even if there is someone new in your life, they will always be the top priority in your life.
Filed under: Family Issues
